| | So today I was again reminded of why i don't think i can stay in teaching. My 4th period, which mostly consists of students behind a year are just frustrating. I've had a number of these students 2 years ago and last year and I'm tired of their behavior. Maybe it's immaturity on my part, but I'm still holding onto ideals that somehow they can change. And I love how the more effort I put in often equates with much more resistance with a lot of these kids. I know i probably don't always do it the best way i could. But anyways, in a class where most of the people are already failing and this won't change unless something major changes it sucks when you encounter so much attitude and disrespect. Many unfortunately due to numerous circumstances really seem to be lost. I'm not sure if some of them will ever really change.
So today I was again reminded that I don't really enjoy teaching all that much. I feel a general conviction "to do what is right" and to help the students and really push them and do what I can. But I very rarely derive any satisfaction in what I've done. I know that my students generally like me and i'm sure there are a number of ways that i help them, but yeah i think i'm nearly spent and I don't think i can keep going. It's hard b/c i'm still not completely sure about medical school and what makes it even more difficult is that in some ways i'd feel "guilty" for leaving knowing how much help is needed in these schools. But we do need to be "selfish" at times and I need to really figure out what i'm going to be doing soon.
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| | Posted 2/4/2008 9:44 PM - 134 Views - 8 eProps - 4 comments
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